Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
