Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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