If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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