They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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