remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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