I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
handjob tips. give me some.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
