Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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