and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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