Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
