6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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