Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
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