Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
