Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
