I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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