So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize