hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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