So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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