well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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