I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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