Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I wear drunk well.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
