Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
