so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
