halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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