My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
