Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
