somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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