Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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