The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
