are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
