I just pynch a tree in the face
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
