What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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