the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
