Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
