Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
