Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
