I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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