I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize