If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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