My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
