Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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