turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
