the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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