He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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