You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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