My friends, they love my intelligence
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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