the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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