Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
