How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
