he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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