just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
