if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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