i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
