i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize