Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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