I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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