I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Do vagina's smell?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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