i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
