That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
