So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
