Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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