don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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