Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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