Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize