You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You need a sexual gate keeper
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
