Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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