They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
