i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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