i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize