I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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