Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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