just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
