So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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