You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm passing your future prison.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
