shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
