yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
